Saturday, January 9, 2010

oil

01/07/10
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ARMENIAN ANTI-SEMITISM
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You may have noticed that some of our anti-Semites prefer to identify themselves as anti-Zionists probably because they know anti-Semitism to be an undeniable prejudice with a long history; whereas anti-Zionism is a recent geopolitical development, and as everyone knows by now, in politics it is legitimate to take sides.
What these gentlemen ignore is the fact that whenever Israel is mentioned, the number of our pundits on Middle-East politics suddenly goes up dramatically. Armenians who know little or nothing about their own history expect us to believe they know all there is to know about the complexities of the Middle East, on the assumption that their interlocutors must be even more ignorant than they. These Armenians, it seems, miss the good old days when Jews allowed themselves to be persecuted and exterminated. What they are against is sh*t-disturbing Zionists who made a mess of things.
I see parallels here between what our anti-Zionists think of Jews and what Turks thought of Armenians at the turn of the last century.
“When Armenians were loyal subjects of the Ottoman Empire – when, that is, they allowed us to fornicate with their daughters and to conscript their boys to fight and die in defense of the Empire -- we had nothing against them. We got along just fine. But then, some politically ambitious whipper-snappers had the temerity to make territorial demands on us. Don't blame us for what happened. Blame these greedy and ungrateful bastards who did not appreciate enough the protection, prosperity and all the freedoms they enjoyed in the Empire. We are not prejudiced. Never were. We are not racists. We love everyone and hate no one. But justice is justice and the law is the law.”
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01/08/10
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SHISH-KEBAB
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Freedom of speech means
the freedom of breaking taboos,
casting down idols,
and shish-kebabing sacred cows.
We are denied the fundamental human right of free speech
because, when sacred cows are in charge,
the first thing they do is
to criminalize the consumption of shish-kebab
and to legitimize the practice of cannibalism.
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The more ignorant the speaker,
the more dogmatic his pronouncements.
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Armenians argue not to reach a consensus
by means of compromise
but to settle a score with the Turks.
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OUR TRAGEDY
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After a fatal accident, they never say,
“Had I driven more defensively,
my family would be alive today.”
What they say and repeat is,
“It was the other's fault.
He is the guilty one!”
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01/09/10
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OIL
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No one gives a damn about Muslims -- not even Muslims.
What they really care about is the oil.
As for us: Now, you tell me,
why should anyone give a damn?
Our cognac?
I have tasted it.
It tastes like arsenic.
If visiting diplomats and foreign statesmen say they like it,
it may be because they are compulsive liars.
Either that or they have no taste.
And the only reason some of them are willing to acknowledge our existence
is that we stand between them and Azeri oil.
As for members of the European Union
willing to acknowledge the reality of our genocide:
they do so because they need a reason to justify their anti-Turkish stance.
On the day Turkey becomes an economically self-sufficient and viable state,
they will open their arms to them.
They may even drop their pants and bend over.
That's politics for you.
That's taking care of numero uno
and to hell with truth, justice, human rights, and morality.
There is a lesson for us here.
Since no one gives a damn,
we have no choice but to rely on one another.
Amen.
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