1001

Sunday, September 30, 2012************************************** 1001******************* We are a nation of a thousand and one Watergates and we are engaged in a collective and almost unanimous effort to cover them up in the name of patriotism. What follows is only one of them.*For a hundred years now we, Armenians of the Diaspora, have been demanding an apology from the Turks who not only have been stonewalling us but also calling us liars. Has anyone ever asked an apology from our former Bolsheviks in the Homeland who terrorized, oppressed, betrayed, exiled, and murdered fellow Armenians who refused to say “Yes, sir!” to the Kremlin? To add insult to injury, role models like Sylva Kaputikian openly declared to have been proud members of the Communist Party. And to think that these “authentic” Armenians call us, Armenians of the Diaspora, “trash.” If that’s what it takes to be an authentic or patriotic Armenian, I want no part of it. If that’s what living in the shadow of Mt Ararat does to Armenians, I say I will never set foot there. *So what if I will never qualify as a first-class citizen? So what if, in the words of a gentle reader from the Homeland, I am not better than “a piece of shit!” All I can say in my defense is that I have done my utmost to qualify as a human being. Can our patriotic brothers and sisters in the Homeland say as much? *To those who try to be authentic Armenians like the natives, I say: Get yourself another hobby because you will never make it. You will never rise above the status of “white niggers,” “trash,” and “shits.” Far better men than yourself have tried and failed miserably. For more on this subject read Zarian’s posthumously published NOTEBOOKS and DIARIES.#Monday, October 01, 2012************************************** IT TAKES ALL KINDS********************************** Patriotism and prostitution: in our environment they might as well be synonymous. I suspect the integrity of our patriots as I suspect the virginity of a bordello madam. *Speaking of madams: I remember to have read somewhere that the wealthiest woman in Turkey was a bordello madam by the name of Manoogian – an easy name to remember. *I once met an Armenian who knew everybody who was somebody in our communities. Privately he was full of venom about our “great” men; publicly he led an anonymous existence. What did he do for a living? I am not sure. But between the lines I gathered he was dependent on the charity of swine. *My father knew nobody and nobody was interested in what he thought. He too led an anonymous existence. His last job was that of a dishwasher in a Greek restaurant. *Once, when asked to deliver a speech, I said: “Writing is hard. Speaking is harder.” That’s when I did nothing but recycle chauvinist crapola in whatever I wrote. On another occasion when asked in the presence of an audience why I was not interested in encouraging the next generation of writes, I said: “We need readers, not writers.” You might say I belong to the haiku school of speechifying. *If I ever write another book – which I doubt I ever will – I have two tentative titles: “The Swan Song of a Jackass,” and “The Memoirs of an Anonymous Nobody.”#Wednesday, October 03, 2012************************************ BROTHERS********************************* A few years ago I lost several Armenian friends from Syria because I dared to disagree with them when they said Arabs are friendly people and they love Armenians.*Patriotism: not one of my favorite words perhaps because every Armenian has his own definition of the word whose aim is to divide the community into friends and enemies,The hidden source of this aberration Seems to be less political and more biological.*The world may be divided into friends and enemies and if you want to survive, you must kill. If you don’t kill you will be killed. Timing is of the essence. Do not procrastinate. Kill him as soon as you can. Kill him even if you don’t have a good enough reason to hate him. Kill him even if he is your brother.*I learn something every day, that’s how ignorant I am.#Wednesday, October 03, 2012******************************************* THE BEST REVENGE********************************** A French writer once said that if your wife runs away with a man, the best revenge is to let him keep her. You may call this turning the other cheek. I call it employing a lethal weapon with which to inflict maximum damage.*BIG LIES********************* No matter how big the lie, it will be believed by some. Kennedy was assassinated by the Mafia. Hitler was a Jew. Obama is a Muslim. The Russians are our big Brothers. The Serpent in the Garden of Eden was a CIA agent in disguise. There are superior and inferior races. God’s Chosen. Seventy-three virgins. Armenians are smart.*SHADES OF GRAY**************************** Our problems are as clear as black and white. If they seem more as shades of gray it’s because an entire class of academics, bureaucrats, hirelings, hangers-on, partisans and panchoonies have been brainwashed to believe their survival depends on convincing the 99% into thinking patriotism consists in being a dupe and thinking for oneself is pro-Turkish.#